Arachnophobia
by Daydreams123
Summary: When Naruto unlocks his bloodline, the Shinigami are forced to give him a sensei that will teach him everything they know. But what happens when the only good sensei is in another reality? Our Friendly Neighborhood Web-slinger gets a new neighborhood, that's what. Bloodline!Naruto, possible bashing, unknown pairing (up to you! Vote by reviews!)
1. Chapter 1

** (A/N) So for those of you that care; I know I haven't gotten very far in Lifeboat, but this idea just struck me out of nowhere and I've never seen this sort of story before. Ever. And seriously, as long as this sort of story type isn't solely in the Naruto/Sasuke yaoi section, I've seen damn near all the most popular categories. So here's my little stroke of genius. **

** I do not own Naruto or Marvel. If I owned them, I would be doing exactly what Stan Lee is currently doing in all the Marvel stuff, except I would demand to appear with a chunin flak jacket over a Spiderman suit at all times.**

Arachnophobia

(October 10th-Konoha-12 years before canon)

Namikaze Minato, the Yellow Flash of Konoha, was holding his newborn son Naruto and staring at the monster that was destroying Konoha. He had just finished drawing the sealing array for the Shiki Fujin on his own son's belly, and he was preparing to summon the Shinigami to turn his son into the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune. He couldn't be more disgusted with himself.

How did it come to this? Why was _he_ of all people forced to make the choice between his own flesh and blood, and the village he loved so much? What circumstances led to forcing such an awful fate onto such an innocent, beautiful, perfect child? And dear _Kami_ why did it have to be _his little boy_?

Minato knew this night could only end in his death, and make no mistake he was scared of what it would undoubtedly hold, but what he really cared about was how his son would be treated. No matter what he said or did, he knew the villagers would only ever see his son as the fox that destroyed their lives.

Kushina was going to kill him for doing this.

Minato could see her now; fighting the Kyuubi with the powers the Uzumaki kekkei genkai gave her. It was an amazing ability; it gave the user the abilities of a particular animal or insect, and even the Shinigami respected it. How could they not? They were forced by heavenly law to bring the last user of the same animal back to life to train the next.

Minato remembered meeting Kushina's helper a long time ago; a man with the same fiery personality and reactions, they could have been siblings. Maybe it was a Fire Ant user thing?

Minato shook his head, it wasn't the time. The Kyuubi was near.

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(10 minutes later-Shinigami's perspective)

Shinigami Hashi didn't hate his job. It gave good pay, living space came with it, and he even got to check up on his living family frequently.

But right then he wished he hadn't become a Shinigami. Nothing was ever simple where the Uzumaki's were involved. Bringing people back from the dead? Wasn't that the _opposite_ of what Shinigami's were supposed to do?

And now the kid he had sealed the Kyuubi into had an _all new_ variation for his family's kekkei genkai, which meant he had to go to a _whole 'nother reality_ to get a sensei for the kid! How could there possibly be a whole new variation if it was such a common being?!

'_Well,_' Hashi thought. '_I guess it does make sense if this certain species never existed in this reality. But then…how the hell does this kid have the powers of one? Things were so much simpler when I was alive; I could just grow a tree around my problems and stab them with kunai. Oh how I miss my Mokuton…_'

Hashi faded back to the afterlife, which basically looked like your average office building, and quickly received the paperwork needed to authorize his reality-hop. When he put down 'Reason: Uzumaki's' all the Shinigami around him backed away slowly.

Shinigami Hashi just shook his head, gave his captain the file, and waited for the upper management to find a suitable sensei in some far-flung reality. Who knew how long it could take, maybe days, weeks even. There was no way they'd send him on something like _that_ so soo-

"Here's the file."

'_Dammit, why are they so efficient?_' Hashi thought. He flipped through the folder as he walked to (read: ran away from, but was eventually tracked down and dragged back to) the afterlife's reality-jump room. It was a big white circular room about 50 feet in diameter, with a gargantuan metal ring in the center. Inside the ring was a purple vortex.

'_Even I'll admit it was a good choice_' Hashi thought to himself as he stood in front of the portal. '_Though you have to wonder, what does the guy park?_' Then he stepped into the vortex and was gone.

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Peter's day had gone off without a hitch. No super-baddies escaping their respective inescapable jails, no intergalactic team-ups needed, no calls from the Avengers or S.H.I.E.L.D.. Yessir, just a normal (read: sub-par) day of high school for one Peter Parker.

That alone should have been a warning sign.

Come to think of it, so should the voices in his head. And his spider-sense going off. And the giant swirling portal that just opened in his bedroom. And the-…wait, what was that last one?

Peter did a double take, and let his jaw bitch-slap the floor. For there, right in front of him, was a purple vortex in the middle of his room. But the thing that got him the most was the monster coming out of it.

Hashi stepped into a rather bare room. It had a bed in the middle, two side tables, a closet, a bookcase, and a desk covered in more paperwork than a Kage's. Hashi could feel Sarutobi's workload multiplying in response.

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Sarutobi sneezed as he was slowly drowned in paperwork. There he was, almost getting a handle on it, when thousands of white sheets started to literally grow out of the floor. He had no choice. "**Katon: Great Fireball no Jutsu!**"

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Hashi looked around. He saw a teenager, about 16 years of age and about 6 feet tall, watching him warily.

"Pardon me," Hashi said in his most polite tone. "But have you seen a man swinging between buildings on webs? Wearing red-and-blue spandex? Most likely causing mass destruction and hysteria?" The teen twitched, ever so slightly, not enough for a normal person to pick up on but for a former Kage it spoke volumes.

"What do you want with the guy?" The teenager questioned slowly. Hashi decided that honesty was the best course of action.

"He is needed in another reality to teach a young boy with his same powers and abilities."

"I'm sorry, but I don't think he'd be-"

"Amenable to being taken to another reality by a god of death? That's a shame. Did I mention the boy is honestly being tortured and that only _you_ would really be able to protect him?" Hashi finished, smirking.

"THERE'S A KID BEING WHAT?!...And how long ago did you figure out who I was?" The now-identified Peter Parker shouted, then froze and dwindled off.

The Shinigami chuckled, then told the boy to get his supplies. Peter hesitated, but the thought of a child being torn apart flashed through his mind and he quickly gathered everything he needed; clothes, toiletries, spider suits, web shooters, web fluid, and a whole manner of little doo-dads.

Once he got everything packed, the Shinigami he was with shook his head.

"You'll never make it in our world if you travel so heavily." Peter gave him a confused look. He was pretty sure he had packed everything as compactly as possible.

Hashi handed the teen a scroll, and told him to cut himself a little and put a bit of blood on the seal while it was in contact with his belongings. Peter flinched as smoke erupted from nowhere when he did this. The haze cleared after only a couple of seconds, and the young man was shocked to find his belongings gone.

"Don't worry, they were just sealed into the scroll." Hashi said, seeing the concerned look on his younger counterpart's face. It was a rather new experience for him to explain the things he had taken for granted for over one hundred years.

"Before we go," Peter said, suddenly extremely hesitant. "My aunt May and my friends will miss me if I'm not here even tonight."

"Don't worry about that," Hashi waved off the problem. "We'll send a doppelganger to stand in for you. It'll do everything you do. Walk like you, talk like you, act like you, do the things you do, it's basically a perfect copy of everything you are right down to your 'part time job'" Peter thought about it for a second. It seemed alright, how long could he possibly be gone for? He himself got a pretty good handle on his powers after only a few hours. He'd be back before anything could go wrong.

"Is there anything else before we go? Remember, we'll be able to get you some money in my reality to get the things you need."

Peter ran through a mental checklist, then shook his head and said "Nope. Though my friend's going to kill me for going to another reality without him."

"Don't worry, the doppelganger will fool anybody."

Peter just shook his head. "He's always able to tell when something's going on…"

A boy reclining on a cloud snapped an eye open. The boy was also 17, with brown/blonde hair, a muscular build, and eyes of a deep blue color. His face was one of those that just screamed 'watch me, I'm about to do something badass'. He was dressed in black boot-like sneakers, jeans, a white t-shirt, a leather jacket, and he had a strange flat metal band that he wore around his waist.

The boy suddenly sat straight up, and KI flooded the immediate area. He poked his head over the side of his cloud and roared: "PETER YOU LUCKY BASTARD! YOU'D BETTER REALITY-JUMP AS FAST AS YOU CAN BECAUSE I'M COMING FOR YOU!

Hashi and Peter heard the yelling, and quickly leapt through the purple vortex that had been silently swirling behind Hashi this entire time. The portal shrunk to nothing behind them, leaving no trace as to their whereabouts. You'd have thought that they just…disappeared from all reality.

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The sound of trees whipping past met the ears of a Konoha patrol squad. They had been on patrol for three days straight, and it was hard to think anything but how they were probably going in circles. The knowledge that they would soon be home with a nice warm bed and bath waiting for them made it hard to focus on any irregularities, and as such they never noticed the vortex that opened between two trees they had just passed.

Hashi stepped out of the portal, wary of what might be waiting. The trip between realities wasn't the part most Shinigami were nervous about; it was how the timestream connected. Too many times had a Shinigami gone to another reality only to come back to find that hundreds or even thousands of years had passed. The most famous case of this being that of…Itchy? Imiga? Ichigo! That was the guy, Ichigo. That particular Shinigami had gone to Hell to confront a great evil, but when he returned he found that his world and even the old Shinigami order had disappeared into the mists of time and the Sage of Six Paths was fighting some sort of monster.

Hashi's train of thought was interrupted when his young charge was tossed out of the portal. Normally that wouldn't have bothered him, but he took the fact that Peter was smoking and most of his clothing except for some pieces of his shirt and pants were now ash and char as a bad sign.

"You okay kiddo?" The Shinigami said as he morphed into the form of himself while alive, that of the Shodaime Hokage. All he got has a groan of pain.

"I feel…like I was filled with lava…" Peter rasped, unable to move. Hashi was stumped; he wasn't warned of anything like this. Was he? He pulled out the papers he had received, and looked over them again. In one of the corners, he noticed a handwritten note that _definitely_ wasn't there before.

'_BTW,_' it read. '_Once the kid goes through the portal, he'll be forced to develop chakra coils. The process will be rough, so he'll most likely have an absolute minimum chakra level of about two tails. Also, some idiot thought it would be a great idea to put a _welcome to the reality_ program on the portal. It glitches often, and will either cheerfully greet the kid or give him a great body of knowledge about shinobi history, skills, and techniques. Good luck!_'

By the end of the note, Hashi's mind was having a great big 'WTF'-party. Oh well, at least he knew the kid probably wasn't getting up any time soon.

The Shinigami threw Peter over his shoulder, slipped his scroll into a sleeve, and started a run in the general direction of Konoha. He could only hope that he wasn't too far into the future. Or worse, the past.

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Sarutobi Hiruzen was fighting his paperwork once again, futilely trying to beat it into a manageable state. A loud bang startled him from his concentration, and he looked up to find a newly appointed medic standing in his doorway.

"Hokage-sama." The man said, a serious air hanging about him despite the fact that he had obviously just sprinted from the hospital. "There is something you need to see. A young man was brought in, we don't know who did it, but he was heavily chakra-burned and suffering from mental trauma and dangerously low chakra levels. When we checked his maximum capacity…that's when we knew you needed to be called."

Sarutobi knew better than to just sit on his ass and wait to be catered to, so he leapt up and followed the medic in a Shunshin.

Once they reached the hospital room, the Hokage found a single teenaged boy sitting up in his bed. The boy was a little sickly-looking, but obviously making a splendid comeback.

"You guys wouldn't happen to have seen a monster-looking guy named Hashi, would you?"

Sarutobi blinked at the randomness of the question. "W-what?" He stammered.

The boy thought for a second. "I think at some point he called himself a 'god of death' or something." Seemingly oblivious to the older man's stupefied silence, Peter began looking around the room he woke up in. Obviously a hospital from the Spartan decoration, it still had an amazing view of a cliff face outside of a window. Peter found himself interested by the faces carved into the cliff's own, but started when he recognized the first one.

Sarutobi's brain had faltered when the boy started asking for some weird monster that was apparently roaming his city, and it had simply shut down when the boy said it was a freaking Shinigami.

"That's him, there on that cliff face." The boy (and now that he finally glanced at the name plate at the end of the bed was named 'Peter') called to his elder. Hiruzen walked over and looked where Peter was pointing. He felt his pipe drop out of his mouth. The boy was pointing at the Shodaime's face.

"Son," Hiruzen said as he turned to Peter. "I need you to tell me everything that happened right now."

Sarutobi Hiruzen and Peter Parker were sitting in the older man's office with the Privacy Seal active. They had gone there after Peter was released from hospital custody and they had retrieved the boy's belongings. Much to the Kage's and medic's dismay, part of that was a suit of red and blue spandex. Though on second thought it might have been some kind of uniform…nah, who'd go around in that without at least a mask?

The other part was what they were discussing right then. A scroll, written by what just might have been a Shinigami. At the top was a seal with Peter's things in it, the rest was written directly to the Kage.

'_Dear Hiruzen,_' it read. '_If you are reading this it means that you have met Peter Parker. As you are hopefully aware, the Uzumaki bloodline possessed by one Uzumaki Naruto gives the user the abilities of any and all animals and creepy-crawlies. It also obliges us Shinigami to bring the last user of the same variation of the bloodline back to life. (E.g. the last user of the lion variation for the next lion user) _

_ However, when an all-new variation appears we are forced to find and retrieve someone with similar abilities from another reality. This is the case with Naruto. He has a bloodline limit that gives him the abilities of the 00spider, a spider that doesn't actually exist in our reality. Other spider variations have given their user incredible trapping abilities, a massive intellect, sensing prowess of all kinds, the ability to spin webs and stick to walls without wasting chakra, and a host of other abilities. From what we have found, the 00spider combines all of the best abilities into one incredibly powerful bloodline. The reason Peter is here is because he is to mentor Naruto. Peter was injected with the DNA of the 00spider, giving him all the same powers that Naruto will begin to develop, if he hasn't already. Please treat Peter with kindness and respect, as in his home reality he has saved hundreds of lives and been given little enough credit for it. Remember, he is from another reality and won't know very much about our world. He also has a great amount of chakra, so you might as well send him to the academy or something._

_ Good Luck, Senju Hashirama_

Normally Hiruzen would have simply written the message off as a fake, designed to give a backstory to an infiltrating shinobi. This time however, there were two things that stayed his hand. The first and most notable was the seal at the bottom of the page. It was Hashirama's personal crest, known only to him and his late predecessor and successor Hokages.

The second thing was the description of the Uzumaki bloodline. When Uzushiogakure (The Village Hidden in the Whirlpools) was destroyed by the Iwa-Mizu-Kumo alliance in the Third Great Shinobi War, all knowledge of the Uzumaki's bloodline was lost. The only known remnant of this once-powerful clan was Uzumaki Kushina. She had had full knowledge of her bloodline, and she had only told those that would never give it up. She only ever told three people: Namikaze Minato her husband, her best friend Uchiha Mikoto, and Sarutobi Hiruzen himself.

The only other people who could possibly know about the ins and outs of it were the Shinigami themselves, and apparently the 16-year-old boy sitting in front of him. But there were a few things he wanted to know before he just put him in constant contact with his surrogate grandchild.

"Peter," the old man started, not quite sure how to phrase his questions. "First of all, why did the Shinigami only bring you here now? Why not when Naruto was a baby?" Peter thought for a moment.

"Well," Peter said. "The Shinigami who brought me here said that it was because of how the time-flow fluxuates between the realities. He said he would do his best to get me here as on-time as possible, but because the average reality hop brings a person back at least 7 years away from where you want to be, he said it was unlikely that would be the case."

Sarutobi nodded, and reassured Peter.

"Don't worry young man," He said. "You aren't too far off. Naruto is currently 8, and about to start his first year of the ninja academy. I don't suppose you know anything about being a sensei?" Peter grinned and rubbed the back of his head.

"Not much." He said sheepishly. "I have a team of sorts in my reality. I'm supposed to be training them for in-the-field stuff, but it's not going too well. They don't seem to respect anyone their own age…"

Suddenly they heard a loud ruckus coming from outside the Hokage's office. What sounded like a herd of elephants from the sheer noise started pounding on the door.

"Lemme in jiji!" a loud, childish-sounding voice shouted from just outside.

Hiruzen chuckled. "Looks like you're about to get your chance to learn, Peter-kun." The aging Hokage pushed some chakra into a seal on his desk, and what seemed to be lines of strange writing appeared on all of the walls. Suddenly, all of the lines were sucked back to the seal on the desk like dozens of snakes.

The door blasted open, revealing a disheveled Naruto and an even more disheveled secretary behind him.

"Why was your door locked jiji?!" Naruto shouted. "Who's that guy at your desk? What's he doing here? When are you gonna come to my house again? What…" This continued for quite a while. Peter was slowly growing a tick mark on his forehead, while Sarutobi just tried to stifle his laughter at the look on Peter's face. Eventually it seemed Peter had had enough with the endless questions.

"WOULD YOU STOP THAT!" He yelled, quieting Naruto for an instant. The smaller child pivoted to his jiji.

"He's mean. Can you get someone cooler to be my sensei?"

Hiruzen and Peter blinked. "What's this about a sensei?" Said Peter, hiding his emotions strangely well. Truthfully he was coming up with all sorts of evil training methods that would get back at Naruto for calling him names.

Naruto, however, was not impressed. "I 'borrowed' the scroll there on jiji's desk earlier from the hospital. It was right next to an awesome red and blue anbu outfit, so I read it and tried to get some cool jutsus. All I got was that I was getting superpowers, and a sensei that also had superpowers. So is this my sensei?" Hiruzen blinked at how easily Naruto admitted to stealing a scroll from a hospital.

"I think the more important question is why you stole a scroll from a hospital…" The Hokage muttered, just loud enough for Naruto to hear.

"I didn't steal anything!" Naruto said mulishly. "I put it back!"

His surrogate grandfather just pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you even know what the difference between stealing and borrowing is?"

Naruto nodded vigorously. "Borrowing is when you take something, then bring it back! Like I did with the scroll! Stealing is taking stuff forever, like what the meanies do with the stuff in my apartment." The room got really quiet at that point.

'_Well,_' Peter thought. '_There's one way to shut people up._'

"I don't think it matters too much," Peter sighed. "Just don't do it again, okay kid?" Naruto nodded.

"So," the youngest person in the room said slowly. "_Are_ you my sensei?"

"~sigh~ Yes…" Peter found himself instantaneously out of his chair, on the floor, and had a kid sitting cross-legged on his chest.

"Sooo…What'cha gonna teach me first?"

After the final paperwork was finished at the Hokage's office, Peter took Naruto up to the roof of the hospital. Once there, he began taking off his shirt and equipping his usual web-slinging equipment.

"The first thing I want to do," Peter said as Naruto stood in awe of the awesome 'anbu suit' Peter had on. "Is give you a preview of the powers we will eventually share, and give you an explanation of the rules of using them." Naruto pouted that there were rules about his powers, but he was still excited to see what they would be. As he came out of his thoughts, he laid eyes on his new sensei.

Who was wearing the most awesomest thing he had ever seen. And by then he knew that 'awesomest' wasn't even a word, so you can see just how fucking awesome it was.

Peter had changed into a spandex-ish suit that showed off his surprising amount of musculature. The suit had a red upper body portion that covered his shoulders, then curved down the middle of his abdomen to a belt-like portion that wrapped around. There were also gloves and boots of the same color, and all of the red parts had a black web-like pattern on them. As Peter spun around slowly to let Naruto see the whole suit, the younger boy saw that the red wrapped around the tops of the shoulders, right above a large red spider design. The rest of the suit was a dark blue.

"So, Whaddya think?" Peter asked.

Naruto just mumbled, "I want one…" which Peter chuckled at.

"Well just let me get my mask on first, then we can get going." As he pulled the article on, Naruto realized what his favorite part was. The mask was also red with a webbed pattern, but what really stood out were the eyes. Large white intimidating things that expressed an amazing amount of emotion. They were the coolest things Naruto had ever seen.

"Alright then, hop on my back." Peter said as he knelt down to give Naruto better access. Once the younger boy was secure, Peter told him to hold tight with his legs and put his arms under Peter's own.

Peter then proceeded to run and leap off the edge of the building.

He hooked an arm under Naruto's rear to keep him up, then made a handsign Naruto had never seen before. Webs shot out of Peter's wrist, and fixed to an edge of a building. The pair swung smoothly through the air, Peter positioning them perfectly to make consecutive swings. Naruto whooped in exhilaration as they flew through cartwheels and flips in mid-air, hanging by spiderwebs.

They swung over the marketplace; consumers and vendors alike looking upward in amazement at the red and blue garbed stranger swinging through the skies above them.

The same occurred over the residential district; people stuck their heads out of windows to watch the strange sight swinging from apartment building to apartment building.

Suddenly Peter swung them further toward a building, and landed on the side using only his fingers and toes. Naruto, who had never seen this sort of thing before, gasped in amazement.

"How are you _doing_ that?" The child yelled in awe.

Peter just smirked beneath his mask at the blatant opportunity.

"It's called Super Stick'em Power"

"It's what?" Peter looked back at Naruto's scrunched-up face in incredulity.

"Kid…" He said, shaking his head as he began crawling up the wall. "If you can't appreciate my comedy, we're gonna be done with each other so fast even my webbing won't be able to save you." Naruto blanched.

"No, no!" he said quickly, forcing out some laughter. "It was funny! See? Please don't go!"

Peter began chuckling. "It's alright kiddo, I ain't goin' anywhere." They reached the top of the building, and Peter made his way to the other side. "While we're on the subject of going, where are we supposed to be?" Naruto looked around at the surrounding buildings, and picked out his apartment.

"There." He mumbled, pointing at a relatively tall building with external stairs leading to a door on the top floor.

Peter swung his way over, crawled up to the door, and entered a hallway that bisected the top floor.

"…The farthest one on the left…" By the time Naruto whispered that, Peter was already worried for him. The kid had buried his face in Peter's shoulder, and was tense and twitching like a hunted animal. Then Peter saw why. The specified apartment door was covered in graffiti; saying 'die, demon!' 'Leave Konoha, you don't belong here!' and things like that.

The worst part was how much it covered. All of the curses were in small writing, yet they covered the wall, ceiling, doorframe, and even the door.

Which Peter suddenly realized was wide open and missing a knob.

He quickly set Naruto down next to the door, and began to pull off his backpack.

"Naruto," he whispered. "I don't know what you've been living like, but there are some people in your apartment that I'm going to deal with. Stay here and stay quiet." With that, the older boy eased the door open and entered the apartment as quiet as a mouse.

Or as silent as a spider on the wall.

Once inside, Peter saw two guys taking knives to the furniture. They were filthy, gruff, had on stained wife-beaters and jeans, and were at least a hundred or so pounds over their target weight if you catch my drift.

Taking out the biggest threat first, Peter webbed the knives and yanked them out of the men's hands. The guys spun to face him, and sneered at the newcomer.

"Why'd you stop us?" One of them said. "Don't you know who lives here?"

"Actually I'm from the 'Couch Preservation Society', and I just wanted to make sure you had a warrant before you totally ruined that fine speci-"

"It's the demon's house you dumb shit!" The other guy interrupted Peter, trying to be intimidating. "Y'know, the kid that the Yondaime turned the Kyuubi into?"

Peter questioningly tilted his head. "Actually, I haven't heard that one. D'you guys do storytime?" The men looked only too happy to be asked.

"Well, eight years ago the strongest of the tailed beasts attacked us. The Kyuubi no Kitsune, or Nine-Tailed Fox demon, appeared out of nowhere. Simply out of spite, it started killing our friends and family and destroying our livelihood. But then our Yondaime Hokage turned the fox into an infant child, likely to embarrass the monster as much as possible, so that we his people could kill it easily. But then…" Here the man took on an enraged tone. "Then the bastard fox took over the Sandaime's mind so he would pass a law that forbade us from rubbing the fox's defeat in its face or telling our kids about it under penalty of death."

Peter knew most of that was bullshit. A kid like Naruto actually being a demon fox with nine tails? Not a chance. Hell, he had only known the kid for an hour at most and even he could see the kid's heart of gold. But he would make sure to talk to Sarutobi after all this. In the meantime…

The two men never saw the super-dense ball of webbing they were hit with.

Peter finally got a chance to take in his surroundings. Naruto's apartment was small and in bad shape. The apartment was a 23ftx23ft box. The front door was situated in the back-left corner of the room, with the opposite corner blocked off by a wall. That wall split the room into a ¼ of the square and a ¾ portion. Straight ahead of the door was a little kitchen in _extremely_ poor shape; while to the right were two couches and a coffee table. One couch was simply 'well used' (relatively) while the other was shredded. Past the couches was a window looking at the same cliff-face Peter had seen from his hospital bedroom window, which Sarutobi had called the 'Hokage Monument'.

It was this window Naruto found Peter dropping the intruders out of when he came in.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Naruto screamed, just as Peter let go of the men.

"Ah, Naruto. Didn't I tell you to wait outside?"

"Don't try to distract me!" Naruto yelled, growing a tick mark.

Peter motioned for the boy to calm down.

"Don't worry," he said soothingly. "I webbed them to a window down the row. They'll be fine." Naruto seemed to calm slightly from that, but was still a little upset. Peter went about the business of fixing the place up a little. He webbed the door shut, shoved the shredded couch out the window, and looked through the cabinets to see about making dinner.

He swore he nearly died from the avalanche of instant ramen.

Eventually he got them both fed, and they took their turn with a shower; the bathroom taking up part of the space in the last quarter of the room.

At lights-out time, Naruto realized a dilemma.

"Peter-aniki, where do you want to-"

_swipswipswipswipswipswipswipswipswip._

Naruto turned at the interruption, and found Peter in his PJ's lying in a hammock made of webbing.

"You need something Naruto?"

Naruto just laughed and shook his head.

"Nope! Goodnight Peter-aniki!" The younger boy chirped. He climbed into bed, turned off the light, and let sleep overtake him.

He had never slept so soundly before.

** And there's chapter one! So yeah, there's lots of stuff that I was trying to cover here. For one, Peter is totally new to the reality so he has no clue what anything is. It was surprisingly difficult to try to convey that, since I had to go through a ridiculous amount of detail (for me) in checking over my work because I couldn't make normal leaps that I could if the character knew what everything was. So back to my thoughts:**

**I didn't want to spend much time on the Kyuubi attack since hopefully you all know what happened. I think I gave a decent description of the Uzumaki bloodline, but tell me if you just don't get it. Also, Kushina's Fire-Ant variation was something I came up with on the fly. I wanted the variation I used to tie into the 'Red-Hot Habanero' nickname, and fire ant seemed like a good parallel. It won't have much (if anything) to do with how things play out.**

**Yes, the Shinigami is the first Hokage. Does it matter? No. Will he show up again? Doubtful at the moment. The main reason he was here was that, realistically speaking; a hidden village wouldn't just take in a random person and put him in personal contact with their most powerful weapon. So I needed a reason for Peter to get in. Also, I'm just going to say that Peter was semi-conscious for Hashi during his trip to Konoha, which is how he was told about the time-fluxuation.**

**I'll try to do some semblance of Spidey's banter, but I doubt I'll do too well. If you feel something else would be better suited (i.e., funnier) drop me a line! Also, if you want a picture of Spiderman and/or Peter Parker, search 'Ultimate spider man Disney XD' for images. That's the one I'm using. I also do not own any of the pictures or the TV series or the design or anything else. Btw, the web-shooters will just be the old-fashioned silver wristband-y ones, not the 'super-duper invisible floating-crosshairs blaster of S.H.I.E.L.D.' ones.**

**For those of you wondering why Peter didn't react more to the 'Peter-aniki' thing, it's because he doesn't know what any of the suffixes mean. (For those of you in the dark, -aniki means 'big brother'. Later I'll have Peter start calling Naruto 'otouto', or 'little brother')**

**If you want a bit of a 'Marvel easter-egg', near the end of the 'Avengers' movie (the one with Loki and the Tesseract that came out in 2012(?)) during the end part with the people being interviewed after the final battle, there is one man who says, "Super heroes in New York? That'll never happen" or something like that. That, my friends, is Stan Lee. The 'Father of Marvel'. Apparently what they're doing is putting him everywhere. He's in a whole slew of the Marvel movies, he's the janitor in 'Ultimate Spiderman" (Disney XD), as well as a senator in Ultimate Alliance 2. Personally I think it's just hilarious. I don't own any of the works I just mentioned (movies, quotes, videogames, or TV shows) they belong to whoever owns them (which isn't me).**

**The spider species name I'm using is the one from the newest Spiderman movie where he faces the Lizard and is played by Andrew Garfield (Again, don't own any of it). I'm calling it the 00spider, but if anyone can come up with a better name for it I'll be happy to change it.**

**Yes, I put Síkê in here. I won't do anything else with him (unless you all want me to) but I just couldn't resist. One of the ways I came up with the guy was thinking if Spiderman had a partner without an alter ego, what would that entail? So just going back to my roots here. If you don't know who Síkê is, I have a description of him on my profile. The better way to find out though is to read my other story: Lifeboat.**

**Before you go, here are the pairings I'm willing to consider:**

**Hinata**

**Samui**

**Ino**

**Fem. Gaara**

**Fū**

**Karin**

**And anybody else if you make a good enough argument. But not Sakura. Absolutely NOT Sakura.**

**Thanks for reading! Please click that little review button below this; it loves being tickled!**


	2. Off with the mask?

** Holy. Crap.**

**I have never gotten reviews that fast, ever. Raja-Ulat, I'm not sure if you realized this, but you reviewed literally within a half-hour of my first post! On my first story, it took me three months to get five reviews; I now have 6 in under 48 hours. I'm…(sniff)…I'm so happy right now…**

** On the other hand, something tells me you all aren't very pleased with my update speed. For my final excuse-I mean answer, I have only six words: End of quarter extra-credit assignments.**

**Anyways, here are the current standings for pairings:**

**Hinata: 1**

**Samui: 2**

**Ino: 1**

**Fem. Gaara: 1**

**Fū: 4**

**Karin: 0**

**So Fu is in the lead right now, but it's still anygirl's race! The voting will continue until the Chunin exams, at which point the winning girl will make her appearance. Yes, technically all of them will, but…you get what I mean.**

** I don't own Naruto or Marvel. I won't fight Stan Lee (come on, everyone knows he has the superpowers of any and all Marvel heroes. That and he's just too damn badass) but Kishimoto…you're fair game. And of course now that I've said that, the guy will probably be discovering that he has developed the full Rinnegan and automatically knows everything about it. How do I know? Because fate's a bitch. That and Omoi told me so.**

Arachnophobia

It all seemed so simple at first; teach a kid how to be a superhero while living in a world of ninjas, make him a boss and go home. With the speed he had figured out his own powers, Peter had figured he wouldn't be outside of his reality for more than a week or two, a month at the very most.

Peter had drastically miscalculated.

There were two things that stood in his way; neither of them gave him any confidence for the future whatsoever.

_**Flashback**_

_ After getting all set for the day, Peter in his Spiderman suit and Naruto in his normal shorts and t-shirt, the pair left the apartment and headed to the roof._

_ "Where are we going Peter-aniki?" Naruto chirped as his newly-dubbed older brother pulled on his mask. Peter let his younger charge clamber up onto his back before he answered._

_ "First up is to see Sarutobi. I have a number of questions for him; after that I want to try training you in your powers." Peter leapt off the building, gracefully shooting a line at the next building and pulling both himself and Naruto through the air. They quickly reached the Hokage Tower with Peter switching swinging arms halfway there, which was quite the experience for Naruto. He hadn't really expected to be let go of, even if it was only for a second._

_ They landed on the wall next to Sarutobi's window, scaring the crap out of the old geezer. He got up clutching his heart, and opened the window for them to climb in._

_ "Nice to see the both of you." The old man chuckled as they all sat down on their respective sides of the big oaken desk in the middle of the room._

_ "I admit I thought that we wouldn't be here again for a while, but I could certainly use the distraction. What can I do for you boys?"_

_ "Well to start," Peter said. "I apparently need a quick lesson on the grammar around here. I'm not sure what all the extra endings on people's names mean." The Hokage 'aahhh'd smiled grandfatherly at Peter._

_ "That would be rather confusing, wouldn't it." The older man said. "Well to answer your question, we use 'honorifics' in this world. They're put on the end of a person's name to mean different things, and they have a rather high importance culturally and personally._

_ "The honorific suffixes are –san, -sama, -kun, -chan, -aniki, -otouto, -imouto, -jiji, and baa-chan. –San is used for people you're not that familiar with or deserving of respect, -sama is used for people deserving of great respect such as 'Hokage-sama'. –Kun is for a man or boy you are familiar with or is dear to you, and –chan is the same but for girls or very small children. –Aniki means big brother, -otouto for little brother, and –imouto for little sister. Jiji and Baa-chan are for grandpa and granny respectively."_

_ Peter quickly memorized the list, and made a mental note to put them into practice._

_ "Thank you very much Sarutobi…jiji?" Peter said hesitantly, relaxing when the man assured him the name was okay via a warm smile._

_ "Anytime Peter-kun, anytime. Was there anything else you needed?" The grandfatherly man asked. Peter ran through a quick check, and remembered the question that prompted the visit to the Hokage in the first place. His suddenly-grim face tipped Sarutobi off that something was amiss._

_ "As a matter of fact," Peter started. "There is something I would like to have answered. Last night when Naruto and I, sorry, Naruto-_otouto_ and I got home, two men were taking knives to his furniture. I confronted them, and they…well…" Here he looked worriedly at Naruto and then back at his elder. His new grandfather-figure sighed and nodded his acknowledgement. Naruto was old enough, he thought, but he would need support from his new 'big brother'._

_ "I see." The old man, for that's what he felt like right then, sighed in disappointment. Not just in the men, but in the village in general._

_ "In that case, I want to tell you both something that will drastically change things for you from this point on. But hey, the more things change the more they stay the same, right?" At this point, Naruto was a little nervous. Sure, it was just a couple boneheads shredding a couch. What harm was there? Yet here was his jiji and aniki acting like someone had set a hit man on him. _

_ "What are you talking about jiji?" Naruto asked innocently. His surrogate grandfather nearly cringed at the pure goodness in Naruto's eyes, and the fact that what he had to say might damage that forever._

**Flashback end**

After Sarutobi-jiji had told them the full story about the Kyuubi attack, Peter wished he had never thought of the question. The look on Naruto's face when he heard it was simple shock. But when he started wondering if he was the fox, his face gave way to a look of pale horror. Peter never wanted to see that look on Naruto's face again. And the only way to do that was to either protect the kid for his entire life, or teach Naruto how to defend himself. The second option was obviously the better choice, though on some level Peter already knew it…

Training is the funniest stuff you can possibly do to someone.

This plan of action found them at a training ground towards the outskirts of the entire Konohagakure city. Even among the more obscure training grounds, this one was well hidden. The reason for the secrecy was simply Peter's well-developed paranoia; years of battling stealth and exploitation-oriented super-baddies had fostered a healthy (read: incredibly overzealous) suspicion of everything around him. Once he'd learned about the entire village's efforts in stunting 'the demon's' growth and their rabid fear of Naruto getting any stronger, Peter had looked for the most out-of-the-way training spot he could find in an effort to save the trouble of fending off the frightened villagers.

Peter came out of his thoughts and saw Naruto excitedly doing various exercises to warm up for his 'hero training'.

"Naruto," Peter called, getting the boy to hop down from a tree he was doing pull-ups on. "First things first, have you suddenly found yourself stick'em-ing to walls, shooting webs from your wrists, getting super-strength, super-reflexes, or detecting danger before it occurs lately?" Naruto blinked, but then thought it over.

"I don't think so." Naruto said after some thought. "How do you do all those things? If I knew what to do, then something might happen."

"Well, it's not that hard. For the wall stuff," here Peter walked over to a tree and put his fingertips lightly against it. "I really just put my fingers and/or toes against a wall or ceiling and climb."

Naruto tried it; he put his hands as far up on a tree as he could reach and tried hauling himself up. All that happened was he dragged his fingertips across bark. He tried again, and when the same thing kept happening he kept trying.

"God dammit!" Naruto yelled in frustration. "Why isn't it working?!" Peter was wondering the same thing. Suddenly a realization came over him, and he stopped Naruto before he made his fingers bleed.

"Naruto, let me see your fingers." Peter said, crouching down and peering at the small digits.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked, worried he'd failed his new aniki in some way.

"I remembered something particular about how I crawl walls. Here, take a look at my finger." Peter held up a finger for Naruto's examination. Upon first glance, Naruto didn't see anything different. But if Peter-nii-san said there was something there, Naruto believed him. So he looked veeerrry closely.

There, on Peter's fingertips, were miniscule hair-like hooks.

"Are these little hook-things what you meant Peter-aniki?" Naruto asked, wondering why his brother didn't stick to everything he touched.

"That's them, otouto. They come out when I want to stick to stuff. It's unconscious for me, but it might be a little harder for you. Right now, for example, I don't see anything on your fingers which might be why you can't seem to get a grip on anything. Try, I dunno, willing these to come out or something. Flex your fingers, something, I'm not really sure how to explain it to you. Seriously, this is the biggest thing that I need you to learn. I can make you web-shooters, I can get you battle experience to help you feel when an attack is coming, I can replicate all of my powers _except_ for this one."

Naruto nodded. He'd already gotten the run-down on all of Peter's abilities, and if this was the one that he needed the most he would work his ass into unconsciousness to get it. After all, he couldn't let his aniki down.

Naruto walked back to the tree he'd been trying to climb, and started flexing his fingers and willing something to happen. It took a little while, but he felt something tingling on his fingertips. He looked closely, but he couldn't see anything. However, the tingling in his fingers convinced him something was happening, and he tried crawling up the tree again.

The young blonde pressed his fingers against the bark above his head, and once again tried pulling himself up.

His feet left the ground and he hung only by the tips of his fingers.

Then he felt to the ground and collapsed to his rear.

"I DID IT!" Naruto yelled, jumping up and around in celebration while he beamed more than Gai or Lee could ever hope to.

"Great job otouto!" Peter cheered, just as excited as his student at the accomplishment. "Let's see how long you can stick, shall we?" Naruto nodded gleefully and ran back to the tree. He focused on his hands again until he felt the tingling, then picked himself off the ground a few inches.

He hung there for a good seven minutes, but finally he just dropped.

"Sorry Peter-aniki," Naruto huffed. "I probably could have hung there longer, but it seriously felt like my fingertips were going to be torn off. I'd rather keep training."

Peter nodded in understanding. "I get what you mean. No worries, it'll go away eventually. But we are going to have to practice bringing out the stick'em power. You'll probably have to crawl walls in an instant, and stay there for a long time. So let's find a regimen, shall we?"

Naruto didn't like the grin on Peter's face.

Peter, once again clad in his spidey-suit, swung home with an exhausted Naruto on his back. Naruto didn't usually get so tired, but Peter had made him wall-crawl all day; the ways he'd done it were different each time. Naruto had hung from the sides of trees, the undersides of branches, upside-down on both; and when Peter had felt him proficient enough, Naruto had had to call out the power from his toes as well.

Basically, his hands and feet had never had so many blisters.

Peter landed on the external stairs, walked silently inside, and unlocked the apartment. As he set Naruto on the remaining couch, he noticed the boy had fallen asleep. Peter smiled at the sight. Looking at the sleeping boy, you'd never guess the hardships the villagers had put him through.

"Training him already?"

Peter whipped around at the voice, but caught sight of the Hokage smirking slightly while puffing on an oak pipe.

"Yeah…" Peter said slowly. "How'd you get in here?"

"Shunshin"

"Gazuntight"

"Actually, it's a form of super-speed for ninja."

"Oh."

"You and Naruto are going to ninja academy tomorrow."

"That's fine…wait did you say school?"

"Why yes. Yes I did."

Peter was about to argue about how he was already a chemistry major, and subsequently remembered that he was in a reality with an unknown history, apparently super powers if this 'shunshin' was anything to go by, and basically nothing that worked the same as in his world.

"Actually, that's probably the best course of action."

"I thought so too." Sarutobi grinned. "Now, I've set you up with an alibi as a boy who's come to the elemental nations from overseas, and knows nothing but the language. I'm assuming you don't know kanji?" Here Peter nodded. "You'll learn. You'll learn everything you'll need to know to become a ninja, actually. From what I've seen of your ability level thus far, you're actually rather ninja-esque already."

Peter nodded. Even back in his own reality, a number of the smaller children had called him "spider-ninja".

"I'll do it." Peter said. "Also, is there a library somewhere around here? I haven't seen one and I really enjoy my reading."

"Maybe you could help Naruto out with that, eh? The building on top of the Hokage Monument is the library. Although if you can't read kanji, you might want to find a book on that first."

Peter was nodding as he heard about the library, but he started crying anime tears once he realized he'd have to learn to read all over again. But he'd be damned if he didn't teach Naruto how to read and write English as well as Kanji.

"Anyway," Sarutobi continued. "Everything you'll need will be provided for you, and I've dropped off some scrolls, writing utensils, ink, and things like that for your use. If you want, I can show you where the academy is while Naruto's sleeping."

Peter nodded, and the two left the apartment.

(Next day-konoha ninja academy)

Peter and Naruto swung cumbersomely towards the school. Naruto was wearing a super-stuffed backpack, the reason for their unusually slow swinging: every time Peter let go of a web, the backpack made them start a flip. Suffice to say, it was very annoying.

When they finally landed in a part of the academy yard with no overlooking windows, Peter hurriedly dug his civilian clothes out of the bag. Sure, the whole place was a village full of ninjas and he didn't really have any enemies, but old secret-identity-habits die hard.

The two walked into school and searched out the classroom they had been told to go to. Once they got there, they saw that not many others had. There was a boy with spikey hair, sunglasses, and a coat with an extremely tall collar. There was also a girl with strange silvery, pupil-less eyes, a rather oversized coat, and who started blushing the second she seemed to look at Naruto. The final pair of people in the room was a sleeping boy with a pineapple-like haircut, and a rather rotund boy next to him who was munching steadily at a bag of chips.

Peter and Naruto found seats toward the middle row next to the window. There they sat; Peter slowly figuring out how to read from a scroll he'd picked up with the Hokage the night before, while Naruto just went back to sleep. Gradually the room filled up without their notice, until of course a boy with a ducks-ass haircut sat in a desk in the front row. The action, much like the boy, was unremarkable at first glance; however with it came a massive horde of the greatest fear in the world. That's right: the scions of hell known as Fangirls. Peter felt a twinge of sympathy in his heart for the boy; in his own reality, Harry Osborn was constantly being hunted down by them. Literally hunted down, as in 'slip tracking devices in his clothes and sleeping drugs in his food to make the kidnapping easy'-hunted down.

Good thing Harry had so much money just _waiting_ to be spent on defenses.

To Naruto, seeing the raven-haired boy totally _ignore_ the girls around him was appalling. The fact that the things he had craved for so long, respect and positive attention, were being thrown at someone who took it like all of it was meant by divine law to be his, floored him. Didn't the boy know what that all meant? How precious that was?

But Naruto could see the fan-like symbol on the boy's back. Naruto knew what it was supposed to be for: the Uchiha Clan, all honored in Konohagakure no Sato simply for their magic eyes that most never even activated. The symbol stood for their prosperity, their legacy, their family, and the love and respect a bunch of people said they deserved. Everything the world denied Naruto was given wholesale to those people, and every other clan in the village.

At the moment Naruto saw that symbol, he knew that the nameless Uchiha and himself wouldn't get along easily. If only he were wrong.

For Naruto, the academy had sucked. Big time. Not just because of the studies, but because of the students. Half of them were just civilians coming around for kicks, and all of them had apparently gotten the adult's memo to make fun of and bully Naruto whilst shunning anybody who willingly hung out with him.

Other students were from clans; some by the name of Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Chouji, Aburame Shino, and Hyuuga Hinata became his friends. Even Yamanaka Ino came into the fold eventually, as apparently she was only pretending to be a fangirl to get on her friend Sakura's nerves.

Other clan kids like Inuzuka Kiba simply pissed Naruto and Peter off. The rest (Fangirls, who are separate from civilians on account of them being the various spawn of Satan) only ever cared about their 'Sasuke-kun'.

On the subject of studies, Naruto and Peter struggled. Both could barely read and write kanji, though Peter got better amazingly fast and was able to learn a good enough amount during the lectures, but they both still did badly in the reading and writing portion. On the three academy jutsu, Peter found himself barely able to call on chakra at first and even once he got better he was _never_ going to master that damn Bunshin; Naruto had the same problems but seemingly magnified.

The only thing they were good at was Taijutsu. Naruto was used to fighting off giant mobs (which horrified Peter when he found out how his otouto got so good at brawling), and Peter himself was conditioned for fighting seasoned enemies many times his strength and size. In comparison, kids who were half his height, not even close to his spider-strength, and greener than the leaves they lived around were just disappointing. The two of them beat their opponents so easily and consistently that their instructors, Iruka and Mizuki, had to simply pair them with each other every time. This however was just fine by Peter; it gave him the perfect chance to train Naruto in his patented Spider Style without anyone else eavesdropping. And unless any of the students were suddenly able to get on the roof in a timely fashion to watch them, they never would.

Things continued like this for two years; Peter and Naruto would suck at reading and writing, they'd do decent but inefficient kawarimi's and Henge's and then suck at the bunshin's, and they'd excel at taijutsu while Naruto slowly mastered the Spider Style. And all the while Peter would be teaching his otouto in his kekkei genkai. Naruto made slow progress, but it wasn't for lack of trying. The only times the small blonde wasn't training himself into the ground was when Peter tied him up to keep Naruto from hurting himself permanently. And no, that wasn't an exaggeration.

Over those two years, Naruto found out how to make webbing naturally: he simply ran chakra through his wrists and did the pseudo-handsign Peter did. And once Peter was able to control his chakra well enough, even he was able to do it. Through much experimentation they found various ways to alter how the webbing would react. A smaller stream of chakra led to a thinner, weaker thread, much like you would want for a tripline. More chakra gave way to a webbing that came out about the width of a baby's finger, but expanded in the air to a rope-like construct about two inches thick. Naruto could think of a near infinite amount of pranks he could pull with the ability.

Konoha was never safe again.

However, it was the start of their third year of the academy that things changed. By then, they were fluent enough in kanji that they could actually do well in their studies. However, the third year was also when they really started pranking. The best part was that nobody could even tell. Naruto acted just as crazy and energetic as always, and Peter slept through most of school like normal. They were still just barely not failing, and it didn't look like it was about to change.

What nobody realized was it was all an act.

Naruto had gotten a neon-orange jumpsuit and seemed to be constantly skipping class to start a ruckus. The real reason was that he wanted training in stealth: if he could avoid jounin-level shinobi and kunoichi while wearing a neon-effing-orange jumpsuit, he could sneak into, out of, and away from anything. That and it was freaking hilarious to watch the cream of the Konoha crop fail to find him again and again.

On Peter's part, he was never actually asleep. The biggest thing that he failed at was lying; he couldn't even keep a straight face while cracking a joke. So he pretended to sleep, then trained his acting when he was caught. Against Iruka's Giant Head genjutsu, it was amazingly difficult.

So for two years they pranked the public in silence. Nobody knew, nobody found out. The only reveal they would get would be on the Genin Exam, when the blind would lift and when the entire village would realize how much they underestimated the brothers.

Naruto and Peter couldn't wait.

(Konoha-Genin Exams-Last day of the Academy)

"You ready otouto?" Peter called as he finished up their breakfast. Over the years, he had managed to get some nutrition into Naruto's diet. The results were evident as a 5 ft.3in. tall Naruto jogged out of their shared bedroom.

"I'm all good aniki! You ready for the results of our prank?" The 12-year-old blonde said as he started scarfing down the bacon and eggs Peter had made for him. Unlike his normal attire, he wore black shinobi pants with a white, web-like pattern on them, and a blue long-sleeved shirt with a large dusky-red spider symbol on the back. The same symbol was on the black kunai holster strapped to his thigh.

"Are you kidding?" Peter said as he finished off his own breakfast. "I can't wait to see their faces when you and I walk in. And then when we actually show off…" He trailed off, chuckling in excitement.

When they were done, they rinsed off their plates and made final preparations to go. Peter pulled on his Spiderman mask, he was already wearing the rest of it, and Naruto put on a pair of midnight-black combat boots that had, though it wasn't visible, the same spider-like symbol on the sole. Naruto also put a Henge on his head so he looked like the Hokage. Why? Nobody knows.

Their morning commute went unhindered, and the brothers landed on the roof of the academy without being spotted. Peter slipped on some jeans, a kunai holster with his own spider symbol on it, and black steel-toed boots. His shirt looked exactly like his Spiderman top, except it stopped at his wrists and at the part between his neck and his collarbone.

His Spider-suit went into his bag as he and Naruto walked down a set of stairs into the school. As Peter went by a window, he saw in his reflection how much he'd changed physically. Instead of the thin, pasty, nerdy teenager that had started at the academy, Peter had become a tanned, defined, more out-going young man. He'd never be as purely muscular as Naruto was shaping up to be, but Peter could still boast a look that showed he was no slacker when it came to training.

Surprisingly, a big portion of his newfound good looks came from his hair of all things. While before it had been thin, flat, and altogether unremarkable, now it was thicker, hung down to the top of his jaw, and had formed spikes.

In other words, Peter had been anime'd

Just before Naruto and Peter got to the classroom, they stopped and applied the Henge they had worn for the last couple of years. Naruto looked like his short, ADHD, neon-orange-wearing self, and Peter looked like a five-foot-tall version of his old nerdy self. It was the Henge they'd worn since the beginning of their 'Master Prank', and they still needed it for the last leg of the plan.

The brothers walked into their classroom lazily, coming in just as Iruka called role. They took their seats near the middle of the classroom and promptly zoned out as Iruka explained the order of the various Genin tests. Only when Iruka passed paper tests out did they actually surface.

Once Peter got ahold of his paper, he immediately saw that there was a small genjutsu on it. The genjutsu made the test appear to be a jounin-level test, probably to fool someone into marking the wrong answer. Peter looked over and saw the same thing on Naruto's test, before the younger boy dispelled it.

After the illusion was dispelled, the test was quite simple. Both brothers finished in short order, and Mizuki collected their tests. Peter put his head down and went to 'sleep', so he didn't notice when Mizuki got a look of surprise, then frustration on his face. Naruto, however, caught it.

"Alright everybody," Iruka called out after a long while. "Time's up. Everyone who isn't done must turn in the test to Mizuki-sensei. Everyone else, head outside for the next portion of the exam."

With the clatter and scrape of chairs being moved, the 30-some students trooped out to the academy training grounds for the more active portions of the Genin exam.

"Everyone stand behind this line," Mizuki called out, pointing at a white line a number of meters from practice dummies. "Iruka-sensei will call out your name, and I'll give you some kunai and shuriken for the test." Not wasting any time, Iruka called the first Genin hopeful up.

Peter was just lazing around with Shikamaru, but Naruto was on alert. The strange behavior of Mizuki's had made him suspicious, and Naruto wasn't about to let the Chuunin walk all over him and his aniki. Hanging out with his world-wise older brother had clued him in to being more watchful than he otherwise would have; the results being that he noticed that whenever the class got written tests, his own always had a genjutsu over them to make them appear much more difficult.

But nobody else had a genjutsu'd paper.

It wasn't too much of a leap from there to figure out someone was intentionally hindering him. From the looks of things, it was his own sensei.

Naruto hoped it wasn't simply because of the fox; he'd had enough of that to last him a lifetime. Not to mention it was a stupid-ass decision to hate and pick on the only thing holding back a giant nine-tailed engine of destruction. Even if he _was_ really the Kyuubi in human form, why the hell would people _intentionally_ try to piss him off? It was like they actually _wanted_ the Kyuubi to unleash total death and destruction on them.

"Uzumaki Naruto!" Iruka called, jarring the boy from his thoughts. Naruto jogged over to Mizuki and received his kunai and shuriken, then proceeded to the throwing line. As he was about to hurl his first weapon, Naruto belatedly realized that Mizuki had drawn them from his Chuunin vest pocket instead of his holster. And now that Naruto was thinking about it, there was a slight change in thickness in the kunai's wrapping.

Naruto knelt down and unfastened the wrappings, stopping when a smaller piece of paper fell out. The blonde checked the paper over, and noticed a familiar array of squiggles covering it. The reason for the familiarity was that Peter had gotten ahold of some things like it from the Hokage; the squiggles were a gravity seal!

"Move it Naruto-baka!" A banshee-like voice screeched. "Sasuke-kun finished so much faster than you!" Naruto suddenly became aware of the entire class watching him impatiently. The commotion had apparently grabbed the attention of Peter, as he pushed through the crowd whilst dragging Shikamaru along for kicks.

"Something wrong Naruto?" Iruka asked, kneeling down next to the whiskered boy.

"Yeah," The blonde said, showing the revealed gravity seal to his sensei. "Are there supposed to be gravity seals hidden on the kunai?" Iruka looked surprised, though if it was at the hidden seals, the fact that dumb-as-a-rock Naruto had known to look for them, or that the above-mentioned idiot knew what a gravity seal looked like wasn't clear.

"Sorry Naruto," Iruka said as he collected the weighted kunai. "I honestly have no idea why those are there. Here, use these." The kindly Chuunin instructor pulled out some of his own training kunai and handed them over to his student.

Naruto got back in his stance, and briefly smirked at the pissed-off look on Mizuki's face. The Uzumaki boy threw all of his projectiles in quick succession, hitting the centers of the five targets on the body-like training dummy.

"Iruka-sensei, Naruto-baka cheated!" One fangirl called out. "There's no way he could do better than Sasuke-kun!" This started a flurry of confirmations and conspiracies on how Naruto fudged the results.

"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!" Iruka yelled, using his Giant Head Genjutsu to quiet the class. "There's no way that Naruto cheated, those kunai are mine and unless you think I'm cheating as well, Naruto's perfect score stands."

Despite the complaints, the test continued with Peter and Yamanaka Ino finishing out with a 20/20 and a 14/20 respectively. Iruka wasted no time in getting the student shinobi moving on to their second-to-last test. For some reason, he led his class out of the academy grounds to a small stadium down the street. On the way, Naruto kept pace with Peter and explained his suspicions about Mizuki.

"You're definitely on to something," Peter said after getting the run-down. "Lately I've noticed my own tests having Genjutsu's on them, and when I took glances at your paper I saw the same thing. We'd better watch that guy; we don't need him messing up our plan."

"What plan?"

Both boys jumped, realizing Peter was still dragging Shikamaru behind him unconsciously.

"Umm…" Naruto stalled, trying to think of a good excuse. "Just wait and see. You'll find out in the next test or so." This seemed to appease Shikamaru's lazy curiosity, as he went back to sleep with a muttered 'troublesome brothers…'

The pre-genin class entered a small, stone stadium. It had a single entrance, no roof, and stone stairs that went directly from the pit-like arena to the stone mini-grandstands that sat above the 10 foot wall that surrounded a sumo-style ring in the center. The ring itself was simply colored lines on dirt, which created a flat circle 20 feet in diameter.

People were already in the stands; most of them were parents of students that had come out to see the last leg of their babies becoming adults. Others were just random civilians and even a Chuunin or two that had nothing else to do.

"All students line up along the wall, we'll call you up one by one to perform the three academy jutsu." Iruka said firmly, stewarding the 12-year-olds into the formation. Once again, the instructors performed the arduous task of calling up each student and grading them on their performance.

"Uzumaki Naruto." Iruka finally called out. The orange-clad boy jogged out to the center of the ring amidst a storm of jeers and derision. Reaching his destination, Naruto casually flipped the crowd the middle finger which earned him screams of anger from his classmates, as well as giant smirks from his friends and aniki.

Iruka also had begrudging mirth in his eyes as he called out "Bunshin no Jutsu!" Naruto slowly went through the handsigns, trying all the while to use as little chakra as possible.

"Bunshin no Jutsu!" A puff of smoke formed at the boy's yell, quickly dissipating to reveal an extremely haggard clone. Even as Iruka started putting down a score, the Bunshin collapsed into more smoke.

"Eheh…" Naruto chuckled nervously as he rubbed the back of his head. "Still not one of my best jutsu's…" Iruka simply waved him off.

"It's fine Naruto-kun. It wasn't dead-looking at least, so I'll count it."

"But wouldn't that be unfair to the other students?" Mizuki said quickly. Iruka grinned and shook his head.

"Naruto has ridiculous amounts of chakra; High Jounin level at least, possibly even Kage level or more. If anything, it's unfair to _Naruto_ that he has to make a Bunshin at all. The equivalent for the rest of the class would, by my humble estimate, be trying to climb the Hokage Monument using only their dominant hand. Now then, Naruto, if you'd be so kind as to perform the Kawarimi?"

Naruto blurred through the handsigns, ecstatic to have passed on the jutsu he was worst at. A puff of smoke later, and Naruto was standing next to Iruka while Mizuki was in the center of the arena. Iruka kept up his grin as he checked Naruto off on the Kawarimi. The genin hopeful switched back with the blue-haired instructor, then voiced a question.

"Hey Iruka-sensei, to avoid the bloodloss that would ensue if I actually performed a Henge, could I simply release one that I've got on myself right now?" Iruka nodded, remembering the plentiful times that he'd needed a blood transfusion after asking the prankster to do a Henge.

Naruto's face split into a massive foxlike grin, and he began the set-up to the revealing of the real him.

"I just want to say this now…" he said as he turned to address the majority of the crowd and academy students. "For the last two years I've been pranking you all. I ran around wearing neon orange, I tanked my grades to look like an idiot; hell, I even pretended to swoon over a bipolar, overly-violent, screeching, ignorant, naïve, and bitchy _fangirl_ to make it look genuine! I pretended to overlook the blatant favoritism toward the Uchiha 'prodigy', even though he wouldn't last two seconds against me, and I stood through the blind hate I got from adults. All so that I could come here and say:

"Henge, Kai"

** That just about wraps up Chapter 2. Now, to appease you readers for my totally unreasonable abandonment, here's the start of a small Omake series I'll be doing. It features my OC, who was introduced last chapter while he sat on a cloud. In case you didn't read his profile on my homepage, his name is Síkê (pronounced SEE-kay)**

**Omake: Celestial Hunt**

'_That rat bastard! How could he just go traipsing off to some unknown reality and put himself in unknown yet no doubt suicidal danger, and NOT TAKE ME WITH HIM?!_'

This was the thought running through Síkê's mind as he scribbled strange, archaic runes on a clear patch of Peter's room's wall with thick charcoal pencil. The runes seemed to be arranged in a circular pattern, and every so often they would glow softly in a golden color. The brown-haired teen finished his scribbling, dropped the pencil, and lay his hands flush on the wall. A golden energy flowed down his arms, visible even through the leather jacket he had on, and trickled into the runes themselves. Gracefully, as if taking part in some kind of dance, the runes peeled off the wall and created a spherical formation around Síkê. They glowed steadily now, shining brighter and brighter as they spun around and around. Then, in a giant flash of golden light, they vanished. No runes, no Síkê, no motion. The magic, for that is what the energy truly was, was over.

In Mizu no Kuni, however, it was only beginning. The islands that made up the country were covered in forests, and the mist that perpetually filled these forests were what gave the country's hidden village its name. Then, the first disturbance the mist had had in a long time appeared. First it swirled, then all of the mist in a twenty foot radius flattened into a horizontal-facing vortex.

A small golden light appeared in the center, then it expanded into a raging whirlpool of uncontrollable power. With the light and the power came a roaring, like you might expect from something in motion that really is too big to have any business being in motion. Like if a mountain range decided to shift a few yards over, or if a cliff thought it would be fun to break off and take a walk. The sheer noise attracted any and all Kiri nin in the area, prompting them to send for their newest Mizukage: Terumi Mei.

When she arrived, along with her personal guard, there wasn't much she could do. Her lieutenant, a man with two earrings with the kanji for 'to hear' and an eyepatch that Mei knew hid a stolen Byakugan, told her that what ever the vortex was it wasn't made of chakra. The surrounding shinobi and kunoichi scoffed at that; nothing like the mysterious vortex in front of them could be made _without_ chakra. A sudden increase in volume and volitivity in the vortex stopped all conversation as the nin prepared for a fight.

Instead, they were met with a string of very loud curses as what appeared to be a teenager shot out of the vortex and through several trees.

As the ninja took evasive action to avoid the felled trees, Terumi Mei signaled a squadron of ANBU to subdue the newly-arrived being. They wasted no time, and upon arrival they discovered a boy no older than sixteen, wearing a leather jacket, jeans, a white t-shirt, and a strange metal belt laying in a small crater. The boy was also cursing in what they interpreted as at least ten different languages. However when his eyes landed on the team of ANBU, he froze...

...And began cursing at someone named 'Peter Parker' for apparently travelling to one of the most action-packed realities ever.

What a strange child this was.

Still, the ANBU had a job to do and they refused to fail their new Mizukage. With hardly a whisper they charged the mysterious boy with weapons drawn and attacked with intent to subdue. The teen stilled once again as he found blades at his throat, wrists, abdomen, and the backs of his knees. He simply watched as more shinobi and kunoichi landed around the crater and parted for one of the most beautiful women he'd ever laid eyes on.

"Who are you, how did you get here, and what are you doing here?" The red-headed beauty said suspiciously, her tone warning of the results of lying to her.

"My name's Síkê, I got here by a _very_ hurried trans-reality portal, and I'm here looking for a friend of mine." Síkê gave her another once-over. "However my schedule's not very strict, so I could be convinced to _hang around_ for a while if you want."

"I hope you realize I can have you in a cell for the rest of your miserable little time, right?" Mei retorted with a glare.

"Well, I'm honored that you want to keep me around that much. I promise I'll be a good little 'prisoner'..." The brown-haired teen said with a smirk. Mei just scoffed.

"Riiiiiight. I don't think our cells will be as 'acommodating' as you're expecting. Let me give you a visual." The red-head looked over at one of the ANBU. "Lock him up."

Instantly Síkê was in chakra-restricting handcuffs, and was being dragged off toward the hidden village. The teen just gave a sigh and mumbled, "Well, that didn't work out too well, did it?" And with that, he lurched backwards hard enough for the ANBU holding him to lose their grip. He jerked his wrists apart, shattering the sturdy cuffs binding him and gave a cheeky wave to the gathered ninja.

"Well, it was fun! But if I'm not gonna be 'detained' then I might as well be off. Ciao!" Síkê called cheerily, even as his would-be captors made to subdue him again. But with a series of movements that could hardly be followed, the mysterious traveler wove through the barrage of projectiles aimed at him and reappeared in the crater they'd found him in. Mei herself made to at least hit him, but Síkê slammed his fists together and a pillar of flame engulfed him. The fire was gone just as fast, but Síkê wasn't revealed. He had somehow escaped.

"Put out a search for him! I want him found and killed on sight!" Mei yelled. The surrounding shinobi and kunoichi hurried to comply; they had never seen their leader so pissed! While to them her reaction was a little over-the-top, to Mei herself it was perfectly understandable. After all, even if she didn't even see it happen she could still feel it. That S.O.B. had kissed her! And groped her boob! The dirty little pervert! That made her so mad, she just had to rip something apart. That dirty, thieving, stinking, bastard with admittedly gorgeous eyes! Wait...Dammit!

She was NOT turned on, damn it!

\\ o /

/ 0 \\

**So review me for the story, the pairing, the lateness, the Omake (thank you so much again for the idea to do an Omake like this Eniox27!). **

** Last things: **

**Naruto's spider symbol is the picture for this fanfic**

**Peter's spider symbol is a red version of the spider on the FRONT of his Spiderman costume. I personally find big round one on his back too childish in the sense that it would make Peter's kunai holster look like some kind of collectable. **

**Also, that little bunch of 0's and slashes above the AN is supposed to be a spider. Think I should keep it? Tell me in a review or PM! No matter what I always respond to both!**

**Review! Especially you, Alex. I know you didn't last time. And by the way Mac, you're almost out of shampoo. That convenience store down the street is having a sale, though.**


	3. Genin, and beyond!

** I'm back! I was SO happy to get a question in one of the reviews, so I'll go ahead and answer that here!**

**Moon Fire 96: (Asked why people didn't wonder why an 18-year-old Peter Parker was still in the academy) To answer that question, Hiruzen Sarutobi set up an alibi for him, saying he was an immigrant from another continent that wanted to be a shinobi. The other reason is that for his third and fourth years he had on a Henge that made him look like the same age as everyone else. There is currently a major plot hole as to what the reactions were for a teenager to suddenly look like a ten-year-old, but that will be addressed this chapter. As to whether or not I'll give Peter a pairing… I dunno. Should I? If anyone out there has an opinion, share it with me!**

**And to everyone else, here's the current standings for Naruto's pairing:**

**Hinata: 1**

**Samui: 2**

**Ino: 1**

**Fem. Gaara: 1**

**Fū: 5**

**Karin: 0**

**Fu is still in the lead, but I know you all have opinions! Share them with me! I swear I die inside a little every time I check reviews and there aren't any new ones! Do you want me dead? Well, DO YOU?! **

**You know what I would do if I wrote Naruto? That's right, Neji would still be kicking ass and Sakura would have been taken out while being utterly disgraced for her behavior to Naruto. I also wouldn't be giving the Sharingan so many god-powers. Seriously, Uchiha "shit-head" Sasuke kills his hero of a brother, tears out Itachi's eyes, and instantly gets enough power to go toe-to-toe with the Kyuubi? That's the second stupidest thing I've ever heard. The first is Obito being able to cast a genjutsu on the Kyuubi. He put whatever amount of chakra he did, into an infinite amount of chakra. It shouldn't have been able to do squat. Not only that, the Kyuubi's chakra is constantly shifting by necessity; the second the Kyuubi moved, the chakra that made up its body would have shifted and released the genjutsu.**

** Conversely, Stan Lee is a fricking genius with what he put in Marvel. At the very least, he doesn't contradict himself.**

Arachnophobia

"Henge! Kai!"

There was a puff of smoke, and the true Naruto was revealed. The crowd, students, and teachers were dumbstruck by the muscular, tanned, and well-dressed shinobi that stood before them. The blonde himself, as well as his brother, were laughing their asses off at the reaction their prank had gotten. It wasn't until Haruno Sakura started screaming that their moment was broken.

"YOU BAKA!" the pinkette screamed. "YOU THINK YOU'RE COOLER THAN SASUKE?! SASUKE COULD BEAT YOU IN A SECOND!"

Naruto smirked coolly at her. "Didn't you hear me? The 'prodigy' over there wouldn't stand a chance." At that point, even Sasuke was getting annoyed at the jabs Naruto was making. Sakura noticed, and decided that defending Sasuke physically might get her in his good graces. So thinking, she ran at Naruto with her fist cocked ridiculously far back to punch the blonde as she had done so many times before. Only this time, the end result was vastly different.

Naruto lazily caught her punch, and dragged her body in windmill-style throw, chucking the screaming banshee like a ragdoll at her 'Sasuke-kun'. The rest of the class stared bug-eyed in shock as the supposed 'dead-last' not only stopped a punch from Sakura, but then _hurled his crush _30-some feet into a crowd of students. Those of them that thought back on the boy's words before his subsequent revealing succumbed to the notion that Naruto might actually have been telling the truth. However, the majority of the students and parents simply started yelling about the "demon brat" harming an innocent classmate, and how the boy was trying to fool everybody by Henging and saying he was unHenging.

"People, does it really matter?" Iruka yelled. "We're here to test for new genin, so let's finish. Uzumaki Peter, please come forward!" With that, the crowd settled back down to watch the last two academy students. Peter did well in all areas, though when he revealed his true self there was more confusion than with Naruto.

"Peter, why'd you Henge into your older brother?" Kiba shouted.

"What older brother?" was the reply.

"Y'know, the guy that left to become a shopkeeper after the first few months of school."

Peter 'ohhh'd and clarified for everybody: "That was actually me. It was an alibi I set up when I learned to Henge. I Henged into a little kid to blend in, and as a prank, but mostly so I wouldn't…" Peter thought about it for a second. "…Actually nevermind. It was mostly for a prank. Though sadly I only look slightly older…"

This was, as they now noticed, true. Peter only seemed to be a few months older than they had first seen him; the only differences were his hair, complexion, build, and the one or two inches he had managed to grow.

Peter wandered back to the group as the last student (Ino) was called to the center of the ring. After the last two dramas, Ino's test was rather anticlimactic. She performed well, but no big reveal.

"Alright," Iruka called as he and Mizuki came back over to the students. "Since we've been observing all of you for the last four years in Taijutsu, I can safely say that all of you pass!" The students cheered at this, as well as most of the parents. "Therefore, the Hokage has decided that for this year we will have a tournament of sorts to decide the Rookie of the Year!" Everyone cheered even louder. Sasuke smirked and looked over at Naruto.

"Hey dobe." the raven-haired boy said. "It doesn't matter how tall you got, I'll still smack you back into your place when we fight."

"Feel free to keep dreaming teme," Naruto smirked right back. "I'll be kind enough to punch you back to the real world." The two of them kept their standoff as Iruka explained the rules.

"The type of fight, as well as the fighters, will be decided by a random drawing. The person with the honor of drawing the names and fights will be our own… Hokage!" At this, Naruto and Peter glanced around and saw that their surrogate grandfather had indeed appeared in the stands. In front of him were two boxes which obviously held the names of the students and the types of fights.

As everyone watched, the Hokage reached into a box and pulled out two tiles.

"For the first match," Sarutobi said, voice carrying strangely far. "Nara Shikamaru and Hiro Mitsuru will fight in a…" Here he drew a tile out of the second box. "Projectile Battle! Only training kunai, shuriken, and other throwing objects may be used."

Iruka pulled the specified students out to the middle of the ring as Mizuki ushered the rest of the class up into the stands. Once Naruto was seated next to Peter and Chouji, he looked out over the field. With Shika's smarts it was clear he would win, it was simply a matter of if the lazy bastard had enough motivation.

Shikamaru's opponent was a rather heavyset boy. Naruto remembered Mitsuru being decent in everything, but he probably would never make it past Chuunin.

"Hajime!" Iruka shouted as he leapt out into the stands. Shikamaru was instantly on the offensive, much to the surprise of his friends. He threw kunai after kunai at his opponent, forcing Mitsuru to back up step by step. Unfortunately it didn't seem to last as the pineapple-haired boy seemed to run out of kunai.

Mitsuru took the opening and retaliated with his own barrage of kunai. Shikamaru managed to dodge each one, but each shot was closer than the last. Just when Mitsuru seemed about to win after a double backhanded kunai throw, Shika struck. Two kunai he had apparently kept in reserve were thrown just under Mitsuru's arms, forcing the heavy boy to lift them higher. Naruto was mystified about what that could have been for, until he saw his friend give an almost imperceptible flick of his wrists.

Instantly the two kunai flicked up and around Mitsuru's arms, stabbing into the ground at the boy's feet. A small glint revealed the secret—Shikamaru had tied ninja wire through the kunai's hilt rings! Four shuriken—two on either side of Mitsuru's legs—and Naruto knew Shikamaru had this in the bag. The shuriken also had ninja wire tied to them if the shiny lines were any indication. Shikamaru gave a sudden sweep of his arms, and Mitsuru's legs were quick to follow as the shuriken wires swept the boy's feet out from under him.

"Winner, Shikamaru!" The Hokage yelled. The students and parents cheered as Shikamaru slouched up into the stands and sat next to Chouji.

Shikamaru's win seemed to set the trend as the students from clans swept the arena with the civilian-born students. The battle types varied; some were projectile-only, some were taijutsu-only, a few were even Ninjutsu- or Genjutsu-only. The last two tended to simply be endurance contests, which Naruto and Peter scoffed at. Then again, not a single Genin from their class could compete with them in that category. Occasionally the categories mixed, and those tended to be marginally more interesting. The brothers fought as well, but their fights were laughably simple. They hardly had to move to KO their opponents, let alone actually try.

When it was announced that the second round was starting for the winning students, most of them from clans, the duo wondered if they might actually have to break a sweat. After two matches resulting in double losses (Ino and Sakura KO'd each other, while Shika and Chouji refused to fight each other) they heard Sarutobi call:

"Inuzuka Kiba vs. Uzumaki Peter in a…Ninjutsu/Taijutsu battle!"

The Uzumaki brothers finally came to life, and Peter clambered past other students. The students themselves had mixed reactions, ranging from 'Go Peter!' to 'Kick his ass, dog-breath!'

No matter how you cut it, nobody liked Kiba that much.

Peter finally made it down to the arena floor, and stood across from Kiba.

"Now remember," Iruka said. "You can use the entire arena, even outside the white ring, but try not to be too destructive, okay?" Both boys nodded, and Iruka gave a loud "Hajime!" before jumping out into the stands.

"We can take'im Akamaru!" Kiba shouted hyperactively. "Even if he is a bit taller, he just slept through the academy!" Akamaru grumbled doggedly as if to say 'so did you…', but Kiba didn't take notice. He charged up a good deal of chakra, putting Peter warily on the defensive. Suddenly Kiba leapt forward as a spiraling, blue, drill-like shell enveloped him.

"Tsuuga! (Spiraling Fang)" He yelled.

Peter's eyes shot wide, but he didn't lose his cool. With perfect timing, Peter leapt into a front-flip; neatly dodging the drilling attack. As he turned jumped away from Kiba a few meters to gain some space, the dog-like boy ended his jutsu and leapt to close some of the distance between them before stopping and beginning a stand-off from about ten feet away.

Peter, slowly so as not to break the tense pause in the fight, crouched down in a strange stance. One leg was bent under him, settled on the balls of his feet keeping that knee in the air. The other leg was not-quite-fully extended beside and a little behind Peter; the leg also rested on the balls of that foot to keep the knee up. The legs' placement forced Peter to lean forward and put a good deal of his body weight on the tips of his fingers, which were firmly on the ground as if to throw himself forward Kiba noticed.

Wait a second…

Kiba barely had time to register the threat when Peter shot forward parallel to the ground, and barely a foot above it! Kiba leapt into the air to dodge, but that seemed to be just what Peter had planned for. The charging teen slammed his hands into the ground and performed a move reminiscent of a push-up. That is, a push-up that launches you seven feet into the air and into the beginnings of a back-flip.

Peter attempted to snap-kick Kiba's jaw and end the fight with a KO, but Kiba just barely managed to jerk his head out of the way. Sadly this left his abdomen wide open, which Peter took full advantage of. Chambering the leg he hadn't already kicked with, the older teen gave Kiba a stiff kick straight to the sternum. The Inuzuka bulleted toward the ground, bounced into an uncontrollable back-flip, and slammed into the arena wall. Even as he collapsed to the ground unconscious, Pete landed light as a cat (or a man imbued with spider-like abilities), and jogged over to make sure he hadn't seriously injured his opponent.

He was relieved to find that Kiba wouldn't have more than a bruised chest and a chipped pride. With that, Peter stood to receive great applause from his classmates, polite clapping from the adults, a proud smile from his jiji, and overwhelming cheering from his otouto. Grinning, Pete made his way back to the spot next to his surrogate brother.

"So what was that weird stance you took, Pete?" Chouji asked once Peter was settled.

"Ano…I-I've n-never seen it b-before e-either…" A small, shy voice said from directly behind Naruto.

"YOSH! I was wondering the same! Even I with my wide knowledge of Taijutsu am in the dark on this most youthful of matters!"

If I have to tell you who that is, then I'm sorry but you're probably too drunk to _fish_, let alone go home.

The group turned to find a pale boy with pupil-less white eyes, a cute (in Peter's opinion) girl with her hair in panda-like buns…

…And two people in identical green spandex suits, identical bowl-cut haircuts, ridiculously massive eyebrows, and simultaneously performing the "Nice-guy Pose".

Peter grinned easily, and said "That's the beginning stance in the Spider Style."

"Hn, dobe." A monotone voice drawled from nearby, and the gang turned to find Sasuke (and thereby Sakura, thereby Ino) had moved closer to get in the know.

"There's no such style. I know of all of them, I'm an Uchiha Elite after all." (Insert annoying, biased, screechy ratification from pink banshee here)

"Well, you see, there's a very good reason that nobody's heard of it yet." Peter said as Naruto smirked. Almost telepathically, they prepared to verbally double-team the duck's-assed boy.

"After all, I created it myself." A range of reactions, from awe on Chouji's part, to a lazy 'troublesome…' from Shika, with a cry of 'OH, THE YOUTH!' and a unison-ed 'Bullshit' from the Gai/Lee and Sasuke/Sakura pairs respectively.

"It's true," Naruto ratified. "He taught it to me, and together we modified it a ton. The style revolves around ridiculously fast ground movement to get past defenses, then knocking your opponent into the air to drop their ability to defend a great deal. From there we can either attack in the air or do something…more widespread" The blonde said, finishing vaguely.

"Too bad," Sasuke drawled. "It was created by a couple of dobe's. If an Elite like me had had a hand in it, the style might be some good. Either way you still wouldn't be able to beat my Sharingan"

As expected, the Uzumaki brothers were instantly pissed off. Naruto went on the offensive and retorted, "First off, you don't even _have _your Sharingan yet; second, the Spider Style is so fast-paced that even if your case of pink-eye could tell how we were going to attack you still wouldn't be fast enough to get out of the way!"

"That sounds like a challenge, dobe."

"Come at me, yo!"

"NARUTO!" Iruka yelled, surprising the gathered ninja. "I have been calling you for the last two minutes! You and Sasuke are fighting an 'anything goes' battle! You two get down here NOW!" Sasuke 'hn'd and made for the stairs. When he reached the arena, he watched furiously as Naruto showed him up by simply jumping down into the arena.

They faced off at the center of the arena, and tried to intimidate each other. Or rather, Sasuke tried to intimidate Naruto while Naruto looked like he was falling asleep from boredom.

"Hajime!" with that, Sasuke charged Naruto with a kunai in hand. Naruto sidestepped and kicked the raven-haired boy's legs out from under him. At least, that's what Sasuke assumed. Naruto had been moving too fast for him to see. When had Naruto gotten that fast?! Before he could try to get up, he felt a boot land on his spine. Not hard enough to hurt, but firm enough to hold him down. And indeed, when Sasuke gave everything he had to get up, he was still held fast.

"Do you give in?" Naruto asked calmly, further angering Sasuke.

"Never!"

"Very well." Naruto knelt down, pulled Sasuke's head back by his hair, and held a kunai to his throat. This prompted Iruka to call the match in Naruto's favor as it was a clear sign that Sasuke was at Naruto's mercy. Jeers erupted from the crowd, protesting the win. But a shout for silence from Sarutobi brought those to an end.

"Naruto has won fair and square." Sarutobi said firmly, leaving no room for argument. Both teens exited the arena, where the blonde was congratulated by his friends and the Uchiha was swarmed by a Sakura who was convinced Naruto had cheated somehow. The private proceedings were cut short, however, when Sarutobi called

"Uzumaki Peter and Naruto are to fight in a final 'anything goes' match!"

"I forfeit!" Peter announced, much to the shock of his friends. What they didn't know was that this was just one more facet of the Prank. Naruto was the 'Dead Last', so him receiving the title of 'Rookie of the Year' along with having flawless marks in the Genin Exam was sure to cause whiplash.

"The Genin Exam is now at a close! The Rookie of the Year and all-around highest scorer on the exam is Uzumaki Naruto!" Iruka called. The stands once again erupted into cries of outrage as the Uzumaki brothers once again flipped them all off.

"All students, please see me to find out if you passed. If you did, you will be given a headband and further instruction!"

Naruto and Peter practically charged the scarred Chuunin instructor. Iruka chuckled and grinned as he gave Peter a dark blue headband and Naruto a black one, symbolizing his graduating status.

"Meet in the classroom tomorrow to receive your team placements." Iruka said, while they put their headbands on. Both decided to tie the headbands around their waists, above their pants.

The pair waved goodbye to their friends, then Shunshinned to a clearing in the middle of the forest. The smiles dropped from their faces as they got to work spreading webbing around the clearing floor, such that the threads were invisible but still sticky enough to bring down a grown man running at…oh, say, Chuunin speed.

(Later that day-nighttime-the forest surrounding Konoha)

Mizuki was pissed off that his plan didn't work. All year he'd cast Genjutsu's on the demon's test papers, slipped gravity-seals in the kunai wrappings, he'd even petitioned to make sure the jutsu the demon was worst at was on the final exam! Yet _somehow _it had still passed to become a Genin!

Because of this, Mizuki had to steal the Forbidden Scroll himself, without the chance to kill the demon brat. Even as Mizuki was grumbling about this, he dropped from the branches he'd been running on into a clearing with a small shed in it. Just before he landed, the white-haired Chuunin instructor noticed something that made his stomach drop out.

There in the grass, a massive spider web was glistening in the moonlight.

Mizuki flung his arm out for a branch to save himself from the trap, but he'd already fallen too far to grasp anything but leaves. The Chuunin landed heavily, but made sure not to use his arms to catch himself. Unfortunately for him, because of the massive scroll on his back he was forced onto his knees. Mizuki quickly drew one of the Fuuma Shuriken from his back-holster, and prepared to defend himself.

Imagine his surprise when, instead of the ANBU squad he'd been expecting, Naruto and Peter sauntered out of the shadows.

Peter and Naruto were rather surprised their trap had worked so well. They had been expecting to have to chase Mizuki into the clearing, not for him to simply offer himself up.

As they came out of hiding, Peter finished pulling on his mask and gloves. He was still in his outfit from school, but he preferred wearing at least that much. All together his shirt, mask, and gloves made it look like he was wearing his usual Spiderman suit except with jeans and steel-toed boots.

"Check it out nii-san," Naruto snickered. "We caught ourselves a fly on the wall."

"You demon brat!" Mizuki screamed, hurling his Fuuma Shuriken at the blonde.

Naruto simply shot a web at the flat part of the blades, stopping the spinning motion as he flung the metal star out of the clearing.

"Whoa whoa whoa, man. You could hurt somebody with that." The jinchuuriki laughed sarcastically. Peter felt a rush of pride. His brother was pissing Mizuki off so much with his banter, and it was glorious.

"Y'know," Naruto said thoughtfully. "I've never understood why people call me "Demon brat'". Mizuki grinned. He might not be able to escape, but he'd make sure the demon was messed up if it was the last thing he'd do!

"It's because of what happened on the tenth of October twelve years ago." Mizuki said gleefully. "Our beloved Yondaime Hokage turned the attacking Kyuubi into a small child so we could kill it. That child…was you Naruto!"

"Blah blah blah, hate hate hate, ignorance ignorance ignorance, etc." Naruto waved Mizuki off in a bored tone. "Almost none of that is true, and it doesn't even answer my question. I wanted to know why people called me a demon when I'm just the jailer of one. Oh well, since you won't tell me…" Naruto flicked his wrist into web-slinging position and webbed his former instructor's mouth shut. Mizuki tried to get it off, but only succeeded in sticking his hands to the webs as well.

Peter, who had simply been standing beside Naruto with his hands in his pockets, strolled over to Mizuki and began liberating the Forbidden Scroll from the Chuunin's back. Though he couldn't voice it, Mizuki was shocked that the brothers weren't being trapped by the webbing on the ground.

"By the way, we've been aware of this heist for quite a while now." Peter said as he pulled the last strap off the massive scroll. "Any idea what that means? That's right, even more time in the T&I department for you. After all, interfering with the success of academy students is a punishable crime; and just _think_ of all the times you set otouto and I up to fail."

Mizuki never had a chance to. As soon as he finished his short speech, Peter clocked the Chuunin over the back of his head with the Forbidden Scroll, knocking him out.

"Now let's see what all the fuss was about, shall we?" Pete said, opening up the scroll. "Kinjutsu number one: Kage Bunshin no Jutsu…"

(Next day-Konoha Ninja Academy)

Naruto and Peter entered their classroom without their Henges on for the first time in two years. When they walked up the steps to their seats, however, all they heard was the gossip of how they had trapped and subdued Mizuki when he'd stolen the Forbidden Scroll the night before. Once they sat down the clamor increased, and all their friends gathered around to talk about it.

"How'd you do it?" Chouji asked, which the brothers just grinned at and said "Secret!"

"How did you find out about it?"

"W-were you scared?"

"What was your strategy?" Were the questions from Ino, Hinata, and amazingly Shikamaru.

"Too disturbing to tell you, not really, and covering an entire clearing with invisible glue, in that order." Naruto rattled off in answer.

Things continued like that for a minute or two, until Sasuke decided to show up and end the Q&A session.

"Hey, dobes," Sasuke drawled smugly. "I heard you caught a traitor with a never-before-seen trap jutsu. That true?" The Uchiha's smug tone put Naruto and Peter on the alert.

"Yeah, why do you wanna know?" Naruto said warily.

"Give it to me. I could use its power far better than you."

Seconds passed, the Uzumaki brothers just staring at the Uchiha. Then they burst into laughter along with all their friends, including Ino despite her pretending to be a fangirl.

"Oh, hahahaha, is that all?" Peter laughed. "I thought you were gonna blackmail us or something! Instead you just want something we aren't gonna give you! That makes me feel much better."

"I demand you give me your jutsu." Sasuke said, angering. Somewhere in that mind of his, the '_**MASSIVE EGO OF UCHIHA SASUKE**_' felt that it had been shamed a little. It contemplated letting go of its underline, but decided it was just the opinions of a few freaks.

Unbeknownst to Sasuke, the mental manifestation of his ego found itself being hunted by a giant fox.

"Sasuke," Ino said, surprising Sasuke marginally that she wasn't on his side. "You can't just demand jutsu's from people. Even if you do, Naruto and Peter are never going to teach it to you."

"I do hope you realize how difficult I can make your lives? The entire village loves me, they'll do whatever I ask. So you'd better give me that jutsu." Sasuke completely ignored Ino, pissing her off to no end. Thankfully the entire group was saved from further insult when the Hokage entered the room with Iruka.

"If everyone would please sit down," The aged Hokage said. "I have some important announcements to make. The first of which is that Chuunin Instructor Mizuki was caught last night attempting to steal a very important set of documents, but was caught during his escape by Uzumaki Naruto and Peter." A flurry of whispers flowed around the room at this piece of news.

"Hokage-sama," Sasuke interjected as he stood up. "Please order the Uzumaki brothers to give up the trapping jutsu they used; I ordered them to give it to me but-"

The most killing intent Sasuke had felt since Itachi washed over him. "You impudent boy," The Hokage said calmly, almost disappointedly, despite the amount of KI filling the room. "Do not think that just because of your family name you can demand anything from anyone. Nor can you divulge village secrets as you have just done. The method of capture was, and still is, an S-class secret." He glanced around the room, mildly pleased that all of the new Genin had gotten the message.

Sarutobi withdrew the KI, and began a speech on what the pre-teens could expect to face. Naruto tuned his jiji out; Peter and himself had been the 'sounding board' of sorts for the lecture, and the blonde had no interest in hearing it again. Peter however loved getting lessons, even repeated ones.

When the Hokage had finished his speech and left, Iruka began calling out the team placements. The first few teams were just civilian-borns, but the last three teams were what the Uzumaki brothers were waiting on.

"Team 7, led by Hatake Kakashi," Iruka called out. "Will be comprised of Uchiha Sasuke," cue uninterested grunt, "Haruno Sakura," squeal of the fangirl **NO** jutsu, "And Akimichi Chouji." Shikamaru actually woke up at that, and began consoling his best friend along with Naruto and Peter.

"Team 8 is Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino, and Nara Shikamaru. Your Jounin sensei is Sarutobi Asuma." There was little reaction this time around, besides a muttered 'troublesome Inuzuka' from the Nara. Shino would have said the same, but it would have taken too much effort.

Yes, that's right, the Naras weren't the laziest clan in Konoha. The Aburames had them beat by a mile.

Unaware of this narration, Iruka continued. "Because team 9 is still in rotation, the next team will be team 10. Due to the number of people who passed this year, this team will be a rare 5-man team (4 Genin+1 Jounin sensei). The Genin will be Yamanaka Ino, Hyuuga Hinata, and both of the Uzumaki brothers. Your sensei will be Masuku no Tobi."

Ino supposed it could have been worse. At least Naruto and Peter weren't as idiotic as they'd led everyone to believe, and Hinata wasn't that bad. She was just shy, something Ino was planning to cure.

Hinata was simply fainting from the thought of how much time she could spend with her Naruto-kun.

The blonde in question was wondering what crack their sensei had crawled out of. He'd never heard of a "Tobi of the Mask", nor had he seen that name on the Active Jounin Roster when his jiji had lent it to him. (Translation: when he'd stolen it from the Hokage's personal safe). Peter and Naruto shared a glance, communicating their mutual confusion over the situation.

Iruka released them for lunch, and they all filed outside. Once Naruto and co. gathered in their usual spot, by the swing, Ino asked the question she'd been dying to ask since Chouji was so unjustly punished with his team.

"Why the hell were the teams put that way?!" She yelled. "Not that I have anything against you guys," Ino motioned to her new team, "But I would have sworn Chouji, Shikamaru and I would have been made into the next Ino-Shika-Cho team. And why spread us into the teams they did?"

"You didn't notice?" Peter commented, receiving confused looks from Chouji, Hinata, and Kiba as well. "Oh, okay." Peter held up a finger, going into lecture mode.

"Each team has a specific orientation, with Jounin-sensei who can help in that orientation. Team 7 is an assault team; Sasuke is probably the Ninjutsu-provider of the team, while Chouji will probably be the heavy damage-dealer. Sakura, from what I can tell, was probably put on the team as a strategist since she has no other use.

"Team 8 is a Tracker team; Kiba and Shino are great trackers, along with good battle capabilities, while Shika will be the strategist and the one most likely to be in charge of actually capturing whoever they're tracking down."

"A-and what a-about us?" Hinata said softly, blushing lightly when Naruto looked over at her and grinned.

"I'm very glad you asked, Hinata-chan." The blonde grinned. "Team 10 is definitely a Trapping/Interrogation team. You, Hinata-chan, will be able to help us find our targets and keep tabs on them, Peter-nii-san and I will be the trappers and the heavy backup in case something goes wrong, and Ino-chan is obviously our interrogator."

Everyone seemed to understand, and other topics were brought up as they ate. After what seemed like not nearly enough time, the lot of them headed inside to meet their senseis.

The group had barely gotten back to their seats when the door opened and Umino Iruka lead in a group of Jounin. One by one they called up their teams and left, until just two remained. One was a man wearing a normal Jounin vest, ANBU pants, and had a trimmed beard and was smoking a cigarette. The other was also wearing the classic Jounin uniform, except it was under a strange black cloak with Konoha leaf symbols all over it. Naruto could tell this second man was their sensei; after all, he was wearing an orange, spiral-shaped mask with a single eyehole.

"Where are my Team 10 kiddies?" the masked man called out cheerfully. "We're gonna be GOOD friends! Follow me!" The four Genin of the team hurried after their sensei, who had literally _skipped_ out of the classroom. They were all thinking the same thing:

That guy is WAY too happy to be a Jounin.

The genin dashed out of the academy to see their sensei leap onto the roof of a building and dash away.

"What the hell?!" Ino yelled in frustration. "We got left behind by our own sensei! What do we do now, track him all over Konoha?!"

"Actually, I think so." Peter said, surprising the others. "We ARE supposed to be a trapping and interrogation team, right? Well what if this is a test to see if we have what it takes to find the guy and trap him?" When Peter put it that way, his teammates realized he was probably right. Even if he wasn't, it wasn't like they could try something else.

"Alright then," Naruto said, motioning his friends closer. "This guy's obviously fast, so Pete and I will have to carry you girls." They nodded at this, Hinata with a cherry tinge to her cheeks. "Hinata, we'll need you to use your Byakugan to look for our sensei. Guide us to him and try to predict where he's going so we can set a trap for him." Once everyone understood their parts, Naruto crouched down in front of Hinata, motioning for her to climb on his back. Peter was doing the same with Ino, but while the platinum blonde climbed up quickly, Hinata hesitated.

"A-are y-you sure N-Naruto-kun? W-what i-if I'm too h-heavy?"

"Don't worry, I'm sure you're light as a feather. Now come on, we're gonna lose him!" Naruto said urgently. He didn't want to mess with her nerves, fragile as they were, but he REALLY wasn't going to put up with Hinata's pussyfooting around her problems.

"B-but I-"

"Hinata!" Naruto interrupted, the knowledge that their target was getting further and further from them while his love-struck teammate was making excuses was driving him to do things he would never have considered in a calmer moment.

The blond stood up, facing the Hyuuga heiress and looking right at her while she stared at her feet. Naruto took a gentle but firm hold of her chin and forced her to look right into his eyes.

"Now is not the time," Naruto said sternly. "For acting like a tsundere with a crush. I need you to focus on the mission at hand; so climb up, doujutsu up, and find that sorry excuse for a sensei."

Hinata shook for a second, then steeled her resolve and nodded. If that was what her Naruto-kun needed, she thought, then that was what she would do. Naruto crouched down again, and the bluenette climbed up. Naruto and Peter shared a glance, seemed to have a silent debate, then nodded solemnly and took off in a sprint.

The veins around Hinata's eyes bulged as she activated her Byakugan. Her vision didn't seem to expand, but that was the most common misconception about her family's kekkei genkai. If they were to actually see the full 360-degree range people thought they could, the sheer sensory overload would fry their brains in seconds. Instead, Hinata had her normal vision range but could 'see' in any direction she chose, much like normal eye movement.

It was this, along with her bloodline's handy telescopic vision that allowed her to spot Tobi leaping from roof to roof halfway across town.

"Naruto-kun, Tobi-sensei is headed toward the shopping district." Hinata said firmly, nearly causing Peter to trip at her lack of a stutter.

"Great job, Hinata-chan!" The blonde jinchuuriki yelled, making Hinata swell with pride. However that changed to a chorused 'eep!' from both Ino and Hinata as the males of the group slid their left arms under the girls' rears (in a non-pervy way of course). Peter pulled on his spider mask with just one hand, while Naruto did the same with an ANBU-like hunter-nin mask. The blonde's mask was porcelain white, with his strange weaving-like spider symbol in the center.

"Hold on tight girls!" Peter called out as the Uzumaki brothers gave a chakra-enhanced leap into the air. The girls watched in confusion as the brothers threw out their arms, aiming at two different buildings, and made a handsign they had never seen before.

Imagine their surprise when ropes of…webbing? Shot out of the boys' wrists and fixed to the buildings.

I suppose I should amend my last statement. Ino was surprised, Hinata had watched Naruto enough to have a general idea of what was going on.

Just like Naruto's own first web-swing-ride, both girls were shrieking in a mix of excitement and fear for their lives. The group reached the shopping district in no time at all thanks to the Uzumaki brothers swinging in quick, flat, momentum-building arcs instead of the usual broad kind that left them at a near standstill in midair.

"Where now, Hinata-chan?" Naruto asked as the web-slinging brothers stick'em-ed to the side of a building. Hinata checked once again, and was surprised by what she found.

"He's j-just two blocks down…just s-standing there." Naruto nodded, trying to think of how best to go about this. Finally he whispered for his rider to hold on tight, as he hastily freed both hands and made two Kage Bunshin.

"Alright here's my idea." Naruto began as he slipped his left arm back under Hinata. "Peter, my clones, and I will get on all four sides of the building. We'll use a widespread web-net to try to catch Tobi-sensei. If we do, Hinata is going to lock up some of his limbs so he can't escape, while Peter and-"

"Am I getting a job here?" Ino said, mildly annoyed that she was the only person not to help out.

"Not this time." Naruto said sheepishly. "This is mainly a capture-type setting, but if and when we need to interrogate someone we'll look to you." While Ino still wasn't too pleased, she could see the truth it Naruto's words. She could also see the unspoken apology that she wasn't seeing any action, as well as a look of genuine care for her. That combined with that cute sheepish grin of his just made her feel all warm and…

No, BAD Ino's brain, BAD!

Oblivious to his teammate's thoughts, Naruto signaled for Peter and his clones to surround the building. They did it quickly and quietly, and Hinata confirmed their sensei hadn't moved. Then, with timing that only people who had been training their entire lives together could possess, they sprung the trap and leapt into position. As soon as the strange masked man was in view, wide and encompassing nets made of sticky threads flew from the teen boys' wrists. '_Gotcha!_' was the thought they had at the same time. That is, until the impossible happened.

The web nets went _through_ Tobi, as if he were a ghost.

"Yay! The kiddies are here! They found Tobi!" the entirely-too-cheerful Jounin cheered. "But they couldn't catch Tobi…" Naruto got a sinking feeling in his stomach at those words.

"The kiddies fail. Sorry kiddies."

**I just want to let you know that I've been working on this chapter for a while. So please refrain from hunting me down.**

**Omake: Celestial Hunt pt. 2**

Síkê was doing one of his favorite pastimes: running. Yes, he was one of those nutjobs that wake up every morning a 3 a.m. to run for an hour or two. Running always seemed to help him calm down and think, and he really enjoyed the many views he got to see on his runs.

But seriously; if you could run twice as fast as sound, you'd do it all you could too.

So there he was, blasting across the seas between the lands of Water and Lightning, wondering where his friend had gotten to. He would have just gone to Konoha, except he wasn't sure what time period the world was in. Obviously not to the war with Akatsuki, seeing as Mei was still near her capital, but it could be at any point before that. He was supremely glad he had started reading the Naruto mangas a few weeks before.

Just think, Síkê had even suggested them to Peter the very day he left, yet Peter didn't even glance over them!

Síkê was brought out of his musings when he spotted the mountainous land of Lightning. He put on a burst of speed, and was soon racing up, down, and all around the mountains. Due to his speed keeping him firmly on whatever surface he ran on, the brown-haired celestial ran in a corkscrew-pattern up a mountain, and leapt from the peak to another one close by. Síkê strung many of these peak-to-peak leaps together, eventually gaining so much momentum that he simply bounced around the mountain range like a super-sonic pinball.

However when he got near the center of Lightning, Síkê made a bit of a bad landing. Instead of rebounding off of a snowy cap like he'd been doing before, he shot into a cave that had been converted into a home kind of place.

"Yo! What Mo-Fo is crash landin' in my dojo?" Looking around from his place on the ground, which he'd accidentally cracked, Síkê saw a dark-skinned man with so-blonde-it's-nearly-white hair who was wearing sunglasses and a whole mess of swords.

"I don't think you heard me, so make like some rocks and go Wheee!" the really…REALLY…weird guy rapped, kicking some stray stones out of the entrance for emphasis.

"Dude, it was an accident. I don't know what you thought I meant, but kickin' me out already is cold. Plus the hostility's getting' old." Yes, Síkê did indeed try to rap.

"…Okay, NEVER do that again." Bee said without rapping. Suddenly everyone who knew him felt the kind of shock usually associated with finding out Santa isn't real, or that your entire life is just a virtual reality made by a massive computer.

"That was just wrong, man. You're too white to try that. I get to do it 'cause I'm black and Hachi's black. I'm a double fudge brownie that everybody loves, you're the freaky cheesecake sittin' alone at the end of the buffet. You getting' me?"

"Yeah, I agree. So…rapping…" Síkê pulled out a small notebook and wrote down 'rapping'. "So that's going on my list…"

"A list of bad rhymes? Sounds more like a list of bad times."

"Actually it's my list of things that I never want to do again. It's like an anti-bucket list; it rhymes with 'bucket' I can tell you that much." The celestial walked toward the entrance to the cave. As he did that, the cracked floor where he landed started sealing up.

"Just for a bit I'll stop ya, how you fixin' the floor without chakra?" Bee rapped. Thanks to the Hachibi, he had very good sensory abilities, and the floor fixing itself wasn't using any.

When he didn't get a response, Bee looked up to find his cave empty.

"So that's what that feels like….yo."

I didn't give explanations last chapter because I wanted to get some questions. But this time there are some things that might not be very clear, so I've brought this little feature back.

While it only seems like a few matches are happening in the Genin Exam Tournament, just know that many matches were skipped over in favor of fitting in Gai and Lee and their FLAMES OF YOUTH!

The stance Peter and Naruto will take for the Spider Style is basically the on-all-fours stance Spider man usually takes when about to attack, or when landing.

How Naruto and Peter found out about the heist will be revealed next chapter. Warning: might be somewhat anti-climactic. Also, they will still have all the Forbidden Scroll jutsus. As you probably figured out, they decided to read it before returning it.

I changed teams around based on the logic I already wrote, mainly because with Naruto's bloodline he isn't assault-oriented anymore. He's definitely trap-oriented, especially with his pranking history which alludes to him thinking very outside-the-box kinds of thoughts. Peter and Naruto are going to be the main strategists of the team, with Peter planning mostly the battle-focused plans.

I really like Tobi's character. I seriously think his happy-go-lucky, constantly-ecstatic attitude is adorable. Besides, in Akatsuki (before he revealed himself) he seemed to have a trapper role. I have a plan with this, don't worry. I'm just going to have Obito and Tobi be two separate people.

Hope you enjoyed it! Review for Naruto's pairings! Also, if you want a Harem option to be put up, tell me! Review for Peter's pairing, as well as Síkê's next adventure!


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